Testimonials
I recently joined the Black SEN Mamas support group, which has been a lifeline for me in the face of constant gaslighting, microaggressions and passive aggressions from institutional powers. To exist within a space that understands, listens and respects your thoughts, experiences and opinions is refreshing and utterly different from traditional educational institutions within the UK.
We need a space like this where we can exist judgment-free and discuss the pains and hardships of being Black SEN mothers. It's also a space to share tips, resources and services that are beneficial for making journeys easier. Since joining Black SEN Mamas, I feel motivated to support the movement and continue to develop it into the flourishing community hub that it is destined to be.
Shani
Black SEN Mama
After finding out that my daughter was neurodiverse - diagnosed with ASD, I felt alone, out of my depth and had so many questions about how to help her or what to do. The Black SEN Mamas group helped me find a community of other mothers going through or having gone through the same journey as I was. It allows me a single access point for all my questions to be presented and answered. It provides invaluable insight into what to do, how to navigate the complex and broken UK system to gain the support that my child needs.
Most importantly, it has helped with my mental health. I have access to a group of women across the UK who share a similar culture to me and who are ever ready to listen to the challenges faced and feelings that I encounter. I can't express in words the value that the Black SEN Mamas group has brought into my life and that of my daughter.
Dawnn
Black SEN Mama
For me, Black SEN Mamas has helped and supported me in ways I couldn't explain. To find like-minded individuals going through the same struggles as myself, trying to figure out life with an autistic child, has been so refreshing. For a while, I felt alone and lost, and to have found Black SEN Mamas feels like I've found a sisterhood—a community that understands me and my struggles without any judgment. I can turn to them for guidance and sometimes just an ear to hear me vent after facing daily struggles.
This group deserves so much recognition and support. It's already hard to feel like you're battling a journey alone, so to have such a group push you to keep going is beyond amazing. I genuinely don't feel alone anymore and feel like I have a group of people that I can turn to at any point of this journey.
Sabreen
Black SEN Mama
The Black SEN Mama's group has been invaluable to me. When I started the journey after finding out my daughter was autistic, I felt alone and isolated. I sought out support groups and pages on Facebook and Instagram, and while these were helpful to a degree, I never saw anyone that looked like me, who could understand the intersectionality of additional needs and race.
When I found the Black SEN Mama group, I felt like I'd struck a gold mine. The group is supportive, full of knowledge and advice, and I don't feel alone or isolated anymore.
Natalie
Black SEN Mama
Since being a part of the Black SEN Mama's group, I have felt a huge sense of comfort. Being a part of a group of women who look like me and are in the same boat as me, in terms of having neurodivergent children, makes me feel like I'm not alone. I have had a great deal of support from these ladies. I have learned so much about my child's differences and strengths because of the group. Yes, Google is free, but it's nothing compared to sharing real-life experiences in the moment with others who are living those shared experiences in real time too. I'm so grateful for this community.
There have been times where I have been at battle with my mental health due to feeling alone and not having people around me who fully understand. This group has helped me cope. I feel at home.
Tamara
Black SEN Mama
Before I found the Black SEN Mamas support group, my journey through the neurodivergent world with my autistic son was extremely lonely. This changed when I joined BSM, where I found community and belonging, knowing that I wasn't the only mom experiencing the hardships of caring for a neurodivergent child. The moms in the group are a treasure trove of information that I would otherwise not know, and it's a great support system that uplifts and encourages each other when things are not going so well. I'm so thankful that I found this group, as it has greatly improved my mental health by providing a safe space for moms to be themselves and talk candidly about the things that are bothering them.
Rita
Black SEN Mama
BSM has been a lifeline for me. Before joining the group, I often felt alone and isolated, unable to share the stress and intensity of parenting an autistic child. I've faced a long and uphill battle fighting for my son to get diagnosed and access the education he deserves. Since I didn't really have friends who either had a SEN child or faced the level of challenge I did with their child's education, I often questioned my parenting ability. I wondered whether I was 'expecting too much' for my son to simply have the chance to thrive in education. I also needed a space where I could share openly and without judgment my experiences of the intersectionality of SEND and race, along with all the struggles that my child faces as a Black neurodivergent boy and the consequent challenges I absorb as his mother.
The BSM space has really helped me make peace with myself. It has shown me that I am not being 'extra' in my fight for my son's entitlements and that I am not 'deficient' in my parenting, reasoning, negotiating and advocating.
I have often blamed myself and lived in my head, gaslighting myself with thoughts about things that 'should' be different for my son. Hearing others' experiences has been both validating (that my fight is not in vain, not unique to me and not an imaginary one) and affirming (that I am doing exactly what I should be in being unapologetic in my pursuit for him to have an equitable chance to lead a positive life—and the tools and adaptations to facilitate that).
BSM is truly a space of psychological safety, information, resources, community and support. It's a space where, as a Black woman, I can experience a full expression of myself as a Black SEN mother—the highs, the lows, and everything in between!!!
Natalie
Black SEN Mama
As a mother suspecting that your child might have a developmental delay, it is always daunting, especially when your concerns are not believed or taken seriously by the health visitor. For a Black mother, this challenge is heightened by societal assumptions that some of the developmental delay might be due to a deficit in your parenting or an inability to manage behaviour or meet cultural expectations. Upon receiving a diagnosis of my son's Autism, which I had to acquire privately, I felt both relieved and quite scared for the journey ahead as a Black female. Not only do you have to contend with cultural and family misunderstandings of autism, but being a mother to a Black boy adds the layer of navigating societal perceptions of Black boys, especially when they have autism and display certain behavioural patterns. It becomes crucial to understand how to navigate society and receive the appropriate support. I was very fortunate to come across Black SEND mothers through my sister who attended a theatre production about a Nigerian mother and her son with autism. She then found out about Black SEND Mama and I immediately followed them on Instagram. I was also lucky enough to be part of a support group discussion on Zoom. I felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders, as the mothers understood the challenges I faced, were nonjudgmental and provided a safe space. Most importantly, we all shared a common understanding of the very unique challenges that Black SEND mothers go through. While the SEN community, in general, is welcoming and supportive, being the only Black face in the room, always being the only Black Muslim face, and having to constantly explain the challenges is exhausting. In our group chat, we are free to discuss issues, from overcoming challenges in family gatherings to navigating cultural misunderstandings of ASD. We form a sisterhood where I can freely share my struggles, whether it's because my husband doesn't get it or because my son has smeared poo on the walls! Everyone offers support, shares expertise, and provides information on services specifically catered for us. These services are often not considerations for our white counterparts, such as finding hairstylists for Afro-Caribbean hair with experience in clients with SPD or navigating Black barbers that cater to children with SPD. I am so thankful to Marsha for providing this invaluable platform for us and to my SEND Mamas for giving me confidence in advocating for myself and my son.
Samira
Black SEN Mama
I am incredibly thankful for this group. Black SEN Mamas is a dynamic and transparent community that has provided tremendous support throughout my SEN parenting journey, which has been both challenging and rewarding thus far. Initially, I didn't feel like I would fit in with the group. I assumed it would be London-centric and cater to those with older children who are more experienced in navigating the spectrum journey, neither of which apply to me. However, as I listened to the struggles and triumphs of other mothers and shared my own experiences, I realised that our voices all hold significance. The resources shared by the members have been incredibly helpful to me. Hearing about the experiences of others, how they've adapted over time, has been both enlightening and humbling. This group is truly invaluable and wonderful.
Abi
Black SEN Mama
Since joining BSM, I have instantly felt a sense of community. From being warmly welcomed into the group to knowing there are others who share my experiences, it has been a tremendous relief. BSM has alleviated my feelings of isolation, provided a supportive sisterhood, and offered a wealth of knowledge, tips and information.
As a neurodivergent parent, we encounter numerous difficulties and challenges with our children, the system and schools. It's comforting to know that I have a safe space in which I can freely communicate, seek advice and unload without fear of judgment.
One aspect of BSM that I particularly appreciate is the social support meetups and check-ins. I have had the opportunity to attend two in-person gatherings and two online sessions so far, and it has been amazing to share space with others who understand and empathise. I am truly grateful to you and the Black SEN Mamas community. Words can't even begin to describe what this community means to me.
Tamera
Black SEN Mama
What being a part of Black SEN Mamas means to me: This group signifies a safe haven where I can freely share the joys and challenges of raising my autistic son. It has bestowed upon me a sense of community, reassuring me that I am not alone in this journey and providing access to the collective experiences and wisdom of others when needed. Benefits to me: 1) Offering a sanctuary where I can simply exist among a sisterhood of SEN Mamas who are also women of colour. 2) Providing a platform to express my emotions and experiences without the fear of judgment, while receiving empathy, support and guidance as required.
3) Acting as an additional layer of support, akin to a safety net, during times when I am unable to access other services such as therapy through the NHS or respite care via my local authority.
4) Facilitating the formation of new friendships and expanding my support network to include other nearby SEN Mamas. Positive changes since joining: 1) Through the group, I have gained access to valuable information that I would not have otherwise been aware of, such as the availability of carer's allowance linked to DLA payments and local SEN activities and provisions for my son. 2) Incorporating self-care practices into my daily routine and achieving a better balance by allocating more time for myself as a single working mother. 3) Anticipating and enjoying upcoming events organised by Black SEN Mamas, such as support groups and fun days, with the assurance that my son's needs have been taken into consideration regarding suitable meeting spaces, etc.
Rachel
Black SEN Mama
As a mother of three young children with SEN, the journey of motherhood felt like an overwhelming whirlwind of emotions, uncertainties, endless questions and battles. That was until I found the Black SEN Mamas Support Group – a sanctuary where wisdom, compassion, and camaraderie flourish. From the moment I joined, I was embraced by a community of incredibly resilient black women who truly understand the highs and lows of parenting children with SEN. The support group has been an invaluable resource, offering a safe space to share my experiences and fears without judgment. The seasoned advice from other mothers has guided me through sleepless nights, Local Authority challenges to get the support our children need and various developmental milestones with confidence and reassurance. The Black SEN Mamas Support Group isn't just a group; it's a lifeline that connects mothers in a bond of mutual support and understanding. It's a place where laughter and tears are shared, victories are celebrated and where no one has to face the challenges of motherhood alone. I am endlessly grateful for the impact this group has had on my life and the lives of my family. It's been a transformative experience and I cannot recommend it highly enough to any mother seeking connection, knowledge and a village to help raise their child. Thank you, Marsha, and her fellow admins for setting up Black SEN Mamas Support Group, for being the beacon of light during my most challenging yet rewarding journey.
Zainab
Black SEN Mama
Moved by the positive impact of the BSM community space, I wanted to give back and have been working with BSM to develop their social media approach. I want others to know that they don’t need to do this journey in isolation, nor do they have to search endlessly for information. I now get to spread awareness about SEND and highlight the importance of community to other mums who may be going through the same, while developing a new set of skills and experiences. BSM has been such a great source of community, support and opportunity.
Nat
Black SEN Mama, Black SEN Mamas Social Media Strategist)
